Eli Stevick: Artist Portfolio

Zingonia, Neptune
Brief History of Roys, Beans, and Outer Space:


Senator Joseph McCarthy begins kidnapping communists.

In collaboration with Russian rocket scientists, a team of astronauts are assembled.

The kidnapped "Pinkos" are those astronauts.

The International Space Program blasted off to outer space armed with bean plants and greenhouses to ensure the survival of the human race.  Nuclear war was imminent and the members of the ISS would shortly be the last humans in the galaxy.

Despite his noble cause, McCarthy was slammed by the media for being a big nut. However, he needed to hide his secret agenda from the public and was prepared to let his reputation be a nasty one.  None of it mattered after doomsday.  The astronauts in space would bring what's left of human culture to the planet Neptune.

On Neptune, the humans setup greenhouses and grew mass amounts of beans.  They also met a race of small pink humanoids that they called Roys.  Simply because it seemed to be a fitting name.  The Roys were simple and spiritual beings.  They also were delicious and full of protein. A man couldn't live on beans alone.

Due to the hot gaseous atmosphere, the astronauts began sporting only their underpants and looking pretty sexy because of it.  The stressors of space also lead many men to early onset male pattern baldness.  The population of human women was very limited on Neptune.  So scientists developed a method of mating human men with Roys using Royal Marmalade.  The Man-Roy was the result.  They are non-Intellectual and wacky-shaped beings who have little sense of self and often become factory workers and pets for men.

Once comfortable with eating peaceful little pink people, it wasn't long before humans and Man-Roy abandoned most morals from planet earth.  There was adultery, swinging, and drinking of bean alcohol.

Some astronauts became interested in helping the Roys.  They were being farmed to near extinction. These anthropologists painted their nude bodies pink and adopted Roy culture as their new way of life.

The Roys are touch with nature.  They live in organic bubbles that were once Roys.  A Roy is fed Royal Marmalade late in life to instigate a wacky growth process resulting in a living pink bubble house.  The Royal Marmalade is also essential in the production of the Man-Roy.  Roys use this marmalade for reproduction as well as shelter construction.  An adult Roy can rub it on their skin and split into two baby Roys; if baby Roys are needed for their cuteness.

Roy homes are found in giant asparagus fields, a plant indigenous to Neptune.  They are also found in the living mountains: humanoid mounds and towers that are neutral and indifferent to all the drama.  Living mountains are made of stone and wood and are older than dirt.  They are just the right amount of stupid to be content no matter what.  They don't try to be anything.  They just hang around being useful and pretty.  They don't even mind being cut down and used to build rocket ships and bars.

Time unfolds with lots of shenanigans:  Roys confused about violence, Humans being selfish and indulgent, righteous anthropologists, partying Man-Roys, Living Mountains being big, pretty and dumb, and lots of asparagus, beans and pink stuff.